(no subject)

Sometimes I stand and simply watch him.

He usually knows when I do so, and I tell myself that it does not matter. That he does not matter.

My home has been lost to me and I am thrust into a world I can never truly understand, and yet I stand by and I watch the one called Wesley poison his body with liquor.

It does not matter, though.

I have been violated, stripped of my powers, and left as pathetic as a mewling kitten. The song of the green is gone, and they laugh. The others, the ones who think themselves superior yet have no concept of me or my past.

But it never matters when I watch him.

The Shell's voice echoes in my mind at times, and I find that the thoughts trouble me. I do not understand this grief that they reek of - that they all feel. Yet, at times when I am alone with Wesley, I feel it too. I wish to scratch it off this feeble body I am trapped in, toss it into the ocean and watch as it drowns.

He tells me I need to learn. He has said he will guide me through this existence.

So, I wait sometimes and watch him. For it truly does not matter, none of it.

Except when I stand silently by and watch him.