not_the_shell: (half_minds - broken)
I find this pointless and irritating, and yet as before I push onward, forever searching for answers to questions I do not even understand myself. I am a God King! My power was great, and I was raped of it by the vermin. Why should any of the lesser beings be an influence on my new life in Winifred Burkle's body?

[locked] Wesley Wyndam-Pryce. From the moment I awoke in that room, so confining and reeking of human emotions that crept underneath my skin, I knew. From the moment he dared to trick me into leaving this world which does not want me any longer, I understood. Yet the moment when his puny weapon managed to kill my Qwa'ha Xahn was the first time the word "respect" entered my mind.

Here was a human unafraid of death, or of me. I admired that, and yet when I sought him out -- so lost with my army and temple long gone -- we were like two lost souls seeking solace within the other. Lies were things I had tempted him with, and yet... honor stopped him. Honor among humans is as rare as my ability to now dance upon the stars and hear the joyful screams from other worlds as I once did.

Now, I've clawed at my skin to rid myself of these emotions I feel. They are no longer residual memories of The Shell. No, now it is me. No longer Illyria, the God-King, but simply Illyria. Lost in this land with a human guide, teaching her not to live in this world by withholding violence but rather by the tears he sheds. His own pain has caused me to feel... to feel.

I feel... for him. I am uncertain if this is an improvement or not, but it is a change nonetheless that I can only trace back to Wesley. [/locked]

There is nothing I long for in this world save a way to return my powers to me. And, perhaps, a new game for the X-Box.

September 2006

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