[livejournal.com profile] daylightfadings A lie no more

Jul. 7th, 2005 01:15 pm
not_the_shell: (dark_wesley - illy as fred)
[personal profile] not_the_shell
I touched the mirror before me so many times, I had finally lost count. My voice was the same, my thoughts were the same, but... the witch had accomplished it. The feat that I had thought no one could do -- now, that was an untruth. I had known always that a simple spell would suffice, and yet the one she had performed had not been simple at all.

Fred?

I had called for her, yet she had not answered me. Was she gone, sleeping perchance? Had she been the one who had perished and not I? Closing my eyes - now brown - I attempted to sense her energy, yet I could find only the green waves that had filled both myself and the witch previously.

If Fred was here, she was dormant, no longer speaking to me in my mind.



Eyes narrowed, my new hands examined the clothes that had been placed upon my body. Soft... so unlike anything that had been a part of myself for eons. Thoughts drifted back to my temple, my army, my previous life when the greatness of Illyria could not be contained within a vessel as frail and tiny as this one. Remembrances of the first time I had encountered the mortals I now sought to understand, of the first time that my guide had shown me what love had meant to him whilst we were tangled in sheets with lies on our lips...

Wesley.

Yes, all would be right with the world now. I had spoken out of turn, and now I had corrected the situation. It would not be a lie any longer, for I was no longer the lie.

I was Fred. For him. For me...? Was it for myself? Her voice no longer haunted my very soul, so it must be. The love I had grown to understand that dwelled within this form - from myself and not from her - was still here... waiting... watching the horrors of the world pass me by as Wesley poisoned himself with the knowledge that he had been weak.

That would be corrected now. All it would take would be for me to locate him -- to inform him that I had been incorrect in my first statement.

Lies were not what mortals decided upon in absolutes, and I had been guilty of this as much as Wesley had...

Did that make me mortal?



Fred no longer answered me, and so I reached out, seeking the one who could tell me. The witch had done her part, and for that I would be forever... thankful. Yes, that was the emotion there... and yet something that pulled within my heart and screamed so loudly that the stars themselves died brought my feet ever closer to the room I shared with Wesley.

I opened the door and looked inside, unsurprised to find him asleep and quite drunk once again. As the door closed behind me, I locked it so that we might speak. So that I might tell him of the mortal tears and blood I had shed... but as always, only one word escaped my lips when I found him.

"Wesley."

((Open to Wesley))
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