Songfic for [livejournal.com profile] daylightfadings

May. 6th, 2005 07:30 pm
not_the_shell: (samlfice - wesillyria - breakdown)
[personal profile] not_the_shell
I had walked about until I was at the highest point within the confines of this prison they called a home. The blood on my arms was drying, and I rose one arm to examine it curiously...

All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall


Fred, why does he not care?

Because you killed me. Don't worry, it'll be over soon.

All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something


I noticed the last strands of blue within my gloved hand and shook my head at myself. Idiotic. That would solve nothing... what had possessed me?

Hold on
Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown
And I don't know why


Why? Why can't I stay?

The last strands fell to the ground and I concentrated until the glove vanished and my hand was pure, white, soft... Fred's.

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see...


It was not enough, though. The blood, the hair... no, I knew what would be enough. My eyes shut and when they opened again, only brown shone out as a flowing pink dress swirled around Fred's legs.

A different side of me

Yet Wesley was downstairs, I could sense his energy... oh how he hated me. The Slayer was there as well, and the vampires... Xander's energy was gone somehow, and so I was without the only mortals with whom I had made any sort of connection... I was simply lost. Alone. Unwanted.

Again.

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me


I heard something else, though... yes... a witch. With power untapped that could assist me in what I needed. To become.

And how I used to be... me

"Fred believes you can help," I whispered, turning slowly to face her as I studied her moment of undress, longing for that feeling she had just then. Carefree, naked... a human yet so much more.

Ask her, silly.

Talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they've all been talking about me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me...


I stepped closer to the witch on the bed.

"...are you just like the majority of us, lonely?"

The ghost of a smile crossed Fred's features.

"No, I am not lonely," I lied. "You are here with me, after all."

Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I've lost my mind


Ask!

"You have power," Fred's voice said, cutting through the air like a dagger. "Power within that you have yet to show but... I know how you might."

I know right now you don't care

"There is a favor I would ask of you."

But soon enough you're gonna think of me

Both arms, now unbleeding, were thrust forward to her in a welcoming gesture as Fred moved to embrace her.

And how I used to be.

"Change me into this... permanently."

September 2006

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