Nov. 28th, 2004

not_the_shell: (Default)
((Continued from HERE))

"So Wesley kissed....you, hoping to remember. And you kissed him back, wanting to discover."

I considered her words carefully before deciding that it was, possibly, the trth of the matter. "Perhaps," was all I said before placing the box down and holding the spoon in my hand, moving it about and looking at it before placing it alongside the box.

"When two people kiss looking to find very different things within said kiss, it can get confusing. Painfully hard even. Does that make any sense?"

"Yes," I answered, "yet I see you feel the need somehow to explain this to me. I understand the mechanics of kissing. Fred's memories are quite clear on that subject. I merely wished to experience it myself, not rely upon the latent ones within this vessel."

Willow, at least, appeared comfortable speaking with me. With Wesley gone, that was a small blessing, since there would be no other way for me to learn what I needed about my foe or about humans. I eyed the witch carefully, reminding myself to study her more completely later...

"To a Sunnydale gal not so much at all, not that that means anything to you. But to be fair about the Wesley point, he seems to unsettle you too."

"I..." Yet the words failed me as she somehow saw through and found within my soul the emptiness there filled only when speaking with Wesley. "Yes. Though, why that is so, I cannot fathom," I whispered.

This was troubling. If I could not understand myself, how could I hope to understand others?

"I don't."

"Then how do you survive? How do you live, move on, walk amongst others lower than you knowing the truth?" I felt as if I were attacking her, ripping apart her words piece by piece.

Perhaps I was.

((Open to Willow))

September 2006

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